19 September 2012

Minding Myself

quincy plaid  quincy plaid

One of my recent online addictions has been reading the Emily Post blog (yes, that Emily Post, Miss Manners herself has a blog, in fact she’s been institutionalized). I enjoy reading about all the little nuances and rules of etiquette that I hadn’t known existed before - and I am astounded at how rude some people can be, how too-polite-to-the-point-of-being-a-doormat others are, and how overly-sensitive another bunch can be. Plus there are loads upon loads of rules of etiquette about weddings, gift-giving, introducing people – all these things that are proper to do … yet you don’t have to do any of them … except you do. Makes for some interesting if not mildly confusing reading.

quincy plaid  quincy plaid

My parents have been pretty good in teaching me general good manners and consideration for other people. But all the nuances of etiquette and how to act in certain situations? I’ve been learning it about the same way that I think most of you have learned it – through observation, trial and error, and plain common sense. I think I do alright, better than most, in fact, because I typically default to playing the "considerate card" if all else fails - what's going to happen, people think I'm too nice? I'm too nice, sometimes. 

But I’m certainly no white-gloved debutante. I still give some people heartburn because I live in the south and tend to barrel right into places and open my own doors or do it for others. I don’t know anything about writing the proper thank you letters versus just saying “hey, that was great, thanks." I know enough about table manners so I don't embarass myself, but I ain't having tea with the Queen anytime soon, y'know. I only know enough about social media manners to know not to type in ALL CAPS. ALL THE TIME. And don't drink and tweet.

It’s 2012. Basic good manners aside, how important do you think etiquette still is? Do you think we’ve become too casual in our daily interactions or is it good riddance to all that propriety and formality?

quincy plaid

quincy plaid

Top: J.Crew quincy (worn here - sim, sim, pricey)
Skirt: J.Crew no. 2 double-serge wool (worn here - factory version, sim, sim)
Necklace: Emerson Fry gold (worn here - sim, sim)
Bracelets: J.Crew, Old Navy, Target (sim, sim, sim, sim)
Belt: J.Crew metallic skinny (sim, sim)
Shoes: Guess kissani (worn here - sim, sim, luxe)

50 comments:

  1. I'll quote my parents - they'd be horrified, but here goes:

    Mom: Etiquette is a way of being kind to other people.

    Pop: A gentleman is one who is polite and kind when he doesn't have to be.

    You probably wouldn't guess it from my writing, but I even say Thank You to busdrivers when I get off the bus. The whole point about kindness and politeness is that they be voluntary.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I say thanks to bus drivers too - always err on the side of being too polite or nice, at least at first sight! ;o)

      Delete
  2. I think good manners and etiquette are still wildly important! Knowing what to wear when and definitely what not to wear when (no black at weddings, thankyouverymuch). Sending thank you cards and proper invitations. Being gracious and kind to everyone, not just people "above" you. The proper handshake (how embarrassing is it when you get a limp noodle, especially from a man??)!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ugh, I hate limp noodle handshakes, even more than I do the guys that try to squeeze the life out of your hands when they shake them. Handshaking is necessary but not a competition, people! ;o)

      Delete
  3. I love that shirt with the pencil skirt!! And the belt just adds the perfect touch:)
    xo, amy
    www.dreamingincashmere.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. It's very important!!!! I get irritated when ppl don't practice manners.... Especially the kids today,

    ReplyDelete
  5. I am a stickler when it comes to etiquette and manners. I am trying to teach my boys the rules of etiquette as well, as I think good manners includes more than just saying "please" and "thank you."

    I love the veridian green color of your skirt...I wore this year's retro jade color today on my blog! :)

    www.colorfulcorporate.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. i love your topics you post. i personally think that being a pleasant person is important, but "etiquette" itself is a little silly. if someone thinks that their wedding is ruined because of the color of a guests dress, then are being too sensitive, imo. i love how we always say that kids have no manners, lol. i think every generation says the same stuff.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Reading the wedding etiquette stuff had my eyeballs rolling a bit! There are so many little "rules." And though it is really up to the bride/groom to pick what fits for them, other people may be expecting otherwise and get miffed. Eeks.

      Delete
  7. I have alot of pet peeves when it comes to etiquette and manners. My biggest pet peeve is when people don't send thank you cards. I've had a couple of girlfriends who failed to ever send me a card to thank me for my wedding gift to them. We've also had visitors who have stayed with us for several weeks, and then never sent a thank you card. I also really hate bad table manner. I'm horrified when I see someone who doesn't even know how to hold a fork! I'm also not a fan of when people let their kids go wild in stores or restaurants. I was brought up with the saying "children should be seen but not heard" and I still feel that way. And the list goes on...

    I sometimes wonder if anyone has manners or common courtesy these days. Perhaps it's where I've lived. Previously in NYC where no one moves aside on a sidewalk when you walk past them. (I've even had men walk right into me because they refuse to "share" the sidewalk.) Now I'm in L.A., where drivers often won't stop for you when you try to cross a street even though pedestrians have the right of way over cars.

    My boyfriend, on the other hand, is very thoughtful and polite. You should see how many people are shocked when he lets them go ahead of him in the grocery store because they only have a few items.

    I like to think there are other parts of the country where people are polite, thoughtful, respectful of others. Maybe in the mid-west??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have a total pet peeve about kids running wild in tight public spaces - I am on the same page as you there (but I don't have kids and people keep telling me that I'll feel differently when it's my own kids running around - not sure about that yet, hehe).

      Delete
  8. Love the outfit! I have the quincy and have a similar outfit planned.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I enjoy reading etiquette books too! I always find Miss Manners to be vastly entertaining. I love the skirt belted, and I like your armful of bracelets.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Puppy pic! THANKS!

    Plus, I am totes stealing this outfit. Which is rude, hmm?

    I think good manners are consideration for others but worry that they're not emphasized as much as they were when I was a kid. For example, I would never dream of talking during a play or movie, but nowadays so many peeps do.

    Ms. Manners has been institutionalized? Well, I still enjoy her column :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. That skirt is beautiful! I love the pop of purple in your shoes too. You are such a doll <3

    xo

    Ashley

    Southern (California) Belle

    Enter to win my Benefit cosmetics giveaway!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Love the blue plaid and green skirt combo, Lisa and the purple heels are such a fun pop of color!
    Love
    Juneli from Fashionably Yours

    ReplyDelete
  13. I love the mix of bright colors here. You balanced them all so well!

    ReplyDelete
  14. i'm still of the mindset that seats should be given up on buses for pregnant women and the elderly. i always hold doors open (most times without a thank you), and thank my public transit drivers. and if i make eye contact with someone on the street, i always make sure to smile.

    love the skirt and shirt combo - i have this shirt so perhaps i can pull it off with a cobalt blue skirt!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think cell phones are making people more rude - a lot of people are on it all the time and it's like, "oh this person on the phone is so important, who cares about the people right in front of my face." Wow, hidden rage with cell phoners, I've got. ;o)

      Delete
  15. I think etiquette is still important and shows a lot about a person's background. Still, it shouldn't be the end-all of how we judge a person, but in professional settings, it is of utmost importance.

    By the way, I'm loving the colors of your outfit! :D

    Abi
    http://thebelatedbloomer.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree there - there are people who may not formally know rules of etiquette or anything, but are conscious of their setting and TRY, and then there are some people who are all about "I do me" and just don't seem to care about being considerate to others.

      Delete
  16. Very cute pairing and love the bright shoes! Thanks for inspiring!

    Kisses from :
    MRS JACK OF ALL TRADES DAILY (where fashion and food collide!)
    http://mrsjackofalltradesdaily.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  17. I definitely think a good thank you note for whatever is always appreciated. :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. I love the colors in this outfit - they look so pretty together! And that plaid shirt is super cute :)

    Annie
    The Other Side of Gray

    ReplyDelete
  19. I can't count the number of times I was cut off in a line while pregnant. Not sure if I just never noticed before I was pregnant but it seemed that people were ultra rude when I was. Weird. I also think the feminist movement has a lot (don't hate me) to do with waning chivalry. Women want to do it all on their own and men don't want to offend them by doing if for them when they are perfectly capable so what you have is a bunch of equality. I personally prefer to be treated like a lady (one that can do it all but is strong and independent enough to choose not to). A simple please, thank you, and excuse me go a loooooong way on my book.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I totally know what you mean about women wanting to do things on their own but I'm with you - though I do feel it's weird when a guy opens my car door or pushes in my seat for me, it's really nice!

      Delete
  20. Of course formal etiquette changes with time, but I don't think basic kindness and manners does. I make a daily effort to be polite and kind to those I interact with, but it boggles my mind how many people go through life with the "it's all about me" mentality!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You should read some of the tales on the Emily Post blog - house guests that just expect to get catered to and don't seem to get the subtle hints to "you're not welcome here anymore" - short of people just saying it!

      Delete
  21. i love all of the blues in this - and your dog is a total cutie peeking in like that! i'm not sure if which fork to use when is as important these days - but i definitely agree that manners are incredibly important. that and values

    <3 katherine
    of corgis and cocktails

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I always have to remind myself to use forks from smallest to biggest, but if there's a real formal setting or something, I'm typically lost. I still end up using other people's bread plates - I blame it on being a leftie!

      Delete
  22. OMG are you serious about the EMILY POST blog??? Then we should highly recommend this to a lot of people hahaha! I'm loving your plaid & teal combo!!!

    REBECCA
    www.redtagchiclosangeles.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I found it through the Etiquette column that I read all the time on the NY Times. First time I found it, I was seriously wasted many an hour on that site!

      Delete
  23. I may be slightly obsessed with etiquette. You should check out the Etiquette Hell blog, too, if you don't already read it.

    ReplyDelete
  24. These colors look gorgeous together!
    Meredith
    www.createthatoutfit.com

    ReplyDelete
  25. I am a stickler for manners more than etiquette. Whilst I won't narrow my eyes should you use the wrong fork, you bet I will call you out if you don't offer your seat to someone who needs it.

    I do however expect the person in front of me to hold the door if I am directly behind them, be it man or woman, I think that's just good manners, and you bet I always say thank you.

    There can never be too many Ps and Qs in life..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I kind of hate it when people don't hold the door (or feign it) for the person behind them, I always turn to make sure there isn't someone right behind me before moving on. However, I have some guy friends who grew up in the good ole south and sometimes those guys will get stuck holding doors for people all dang day!

      Delete
  26. LOVE the color of those shoes with the blues and greens!

    ReplyDelete
  27. I love when people dress up plaid! You look great!

    www.daisyraeboutique.com
    www.kacieskloset.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love boy-ish printed button-downs. My BF always says that my shirts look just like his!

      Delete
  28. Great job with the accessorizing going on here!

    I think people are too lazy and casual with their etiquette, and I actually find it quite sad :(

    Love this look! :)

    Julia

    ReplyDelete
  29. I love anything with a pencil skirt and a plaid shirt is no exception - you look amazing!

    XO
    www.pearlsandpaws.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  30. Love a good pencil skirt! And those heels are amazing. Cute close up of you, I can see all your cute freckles! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  31. I kind of like all that formality sometimes. My grandmother was English & she was allllways correcting us on etiquette things so I feel like I have a better handle on those things but I'm sure there are times when I'd be totally outta line in dear ole' g'ma's eyes.

    Another great color combo BTW...I never think to pair contrasting bright heels with an already semi-bright outfit but every time I see it I love it!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Great outfit! I love how you managed to dress up a plaid shirt.

    Hudson East
    HudsonEast.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  33. It's so funny that you mention this, because I was just talking with my husband the other day about how technology and social media really clouds the issue on when to send things like thank you notes, birthday cards, etc. A childhood friend of his just welcomed his second daughter, and he announced it on facebook, and a friend of mine from college got engaged, and she told me via text about a week later. Are we supposed to send cards, mail gifts, or just shoot back a quick facebook/text congrats? I just don't know anymore!

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for visiting, please leave a comment if you like!
(Spammers will be deleted - sorry).

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...