Thanks to this thing called insomnia, I’ve spent portions of the last few nights watching on-demand episodes of Miss Advised, that new Bravo reality series about the professional love gurus who can’t seem to find their own love. One of the women, a dating advice columnist, has a 73-point checklist for her potential mate. 73, people.
Now it's not like I've been actively dating anytime in recent history, but I remember when I was “single and looking” I always kind of went into the whole dating thing completely unprepared with both feet first (certainly not saying that my way was right and Miss 73-Point Checklist is wrong, but certainly my feeling-my-way-through-it style took a lot less forethought).
I don't remember having any sort of specific "type" when I was younger, but when it came to the act of dating, I certainly never had any personal rules – actually, scratch that. I may not have had any personal checklists to go through or went by any official rules to dating that I got off of some find-love-now book or online dating site, but I guess I had rules. Non-rule rules. 'Cause they only really just involved me.
I guess my first unofficial rule was to not act interested, make the guy come to you. Which honestly wasn’t a rule for myself so much as I was just shy as all heck and didn’t know how to approach guys. Thus was probably why most of the guys I did end up dating were friends first. ‘Cause the whole "play coy" thing totally was not me.
Another non-rule was that if the guy I liked seemed interested but I wasn’t sure if he was really interested or kind of interested or just looking for something to do on Saturday afternoon, then I acted noncommittal. I don’t mean all “well I was planning to wash my hair that day, but if you really want to go grab coffee” or anything eye rolling like that - more like, coffee’s great, but if coffee doesn’t happen, or if grabbing a coffee was really just grabbing a coffee, so be it.
Third non-rule (wow, I had a lot of rules for dating for someone who claimed to not have had any rules) was to keep the Crazy to myself. At least when you're still getting to know someone. Miss 73-Point Checklist laid it all out there on a first date, going balls to the wall THIS IS ME and taking her date out on pseudo-prom - tiaras, tuxes, limos, the whole deal. It felt like expecting too much too soon. I subscribed to the school of keeping it real, but keeping my Crazy to myself, at least until the third or fourth date. Anything after that, well, get the stuffed animals out of the closet and let the OCD Type-A games begin!
So what do you think, ladies? For you current and former daters, did you have any dating rules that you abide by, official or not? Did you have a checklist of things you wanted your perfect mate to be? And if you’re in a share-y mood, what did and didn’t work for you?
Dress: J.Crew rugby stripe (sim, sim, pricey)
Bag: H&M (worn here - sim, sim, sim, sim)
Earrings: F21 (worn here - sim, simpler, pricey)
Bracelets: Old Navy enamel & J.Crew stud (sim, sim, sim)
Shoes: Toms canvas (worn here - sim, same denim, striped, beige)
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
♥ I have added loads of fresh items on my blog sale - please check it out if you'd like a deal on brand new or barely-worn dresses, shoes, bags and more!
♥ And don't forget to submit your outfits for the next Respect the Outfits reader feature: Summer Staples!