23 April 2012

It's a Matter of Time

I am an incredibly organized person when it comes to my job. I make lists ad nauseum, folder away my e-mail communications, bring personal schedule copies and a personal briefing folder with me whenever I travel. When it comes to my personal life though, I am not the same person than I am for that job - or rather, I am often the very same person, which is why I am a mess sometimes with my personal life.

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I grew up in a very straight-laced "follow the rules" household, which meant that being dedicated to your job was priority number one. Not being able to make it to a family activity and not getting out of the office early just because was an understood excuse. You worked your butt off to keep your job and sacrificed to support your loved ones - that was how you showed your appreciation to everyone.

So my parents worked their butts off to provide for us kids. My sis and I may not have had the opp to take family holidays to Disneyworld but we never went hungry and always had new clothes and shoes for the schoolyear. My dad worked six days a week so most of our "quality time" together was out running errands on Sunday for the household. I took tennis lessons but my parents were never able to attend a match. And it was fine for me - I got it.

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Unfortunately this meas that Adult Lisa is great at her job, but in the juggling game of personal vs. work, unfortunately personal usually ends up losing out most of the time. I sometimes feel like the childless version of Kate Reddy from I Don't Know How She Does It, except that instead of trying to fit everything into my day, I tend to just miss the personal things. I've often been told to take a breath, it's OK to turn that phone off, your loved ones are more important than a job - and I know that, but it's always a struggle for me to follow through!

How do you ladies manage your time between your career and family/friends? Are you able to "turn it off" when it comes to your career?

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Top: J.Crew perfect boatneck (worn here - sim, cas, dressed up)
Skirt: J.Crew sovereign paisley (sim, luxe)
Belt: J.Crew skinny metallic (sim)
Shoes: c/o ShoeMint rosemary (worn here - sim, sim, grey, low)
Necklace: nutcase fashion via Etsy (worn here - sim, simpricey)
Bracelet: F21 faceted cube (sim)

37 comments:

  1. Hey hon...although it may not be true, I will choose to believe my gentle nudging on Pinterest brought you back! ;)

    First, I love the outfit, that skirt is fantastic.

    As for the balance...I definitely struggle with this. I don't even have kids, I don't know how women who work (outside the home) and raise kids do it!

    xoxo
    ~Natasha Fatah~

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    1. I was gone too long! It sucks when you want to blog but don't have the time!

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  2. Hey Lisa!! I love this post (and your outfit!). Balance is something I truly work hard on. I can't remember where I read this but there is a quote out there somewhere that says "Our greatest gift is our own mortality" and that is exactly what keeps me "on track" with truly keeping the most important things in my life a priority. I have had a lot of very unexpected loss in my life--so many young friends and family members of mine have passed away. Life is so precious and so fragile. I know it sounds cliche--but I truly work every day to not take anyone for granted. I definitely don't always have time to play with my kids or sit down and chat with my husband or my sister--but I will always make the time. Even if that means my baseboards NEVER get cleaned ;)

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    1. I need to keep that in mind and stop mental guilting myself for what I didn't get to do today for work because of something else. Life is for enjoying!

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  3. Lisa, the hint of neon is so pretty and what a lovely print on that skirt! Really like the way you balanced the neon on the bottom with neon colored accessories!
    xo, Tinacious Me

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    1. Thanks! I am trying hard not to turn my love for neon into a full-blown addiction!

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  4. I think you can't have everything, you either have to choose one or another. I got it clear a long time ago, I choose my personal life, family and friends. Work is something I do for living not the other way round and I expect my other half do the same, I ended a relationship because of this...I know work is important but as Anne says I have looses in my family and that made me realize what was the important.

    In a frivolous note I love your outfit!! : )

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    1. Thanks, luna, I definitely know I need to start really prioritizing the meaningful things in my life - but it's hard!

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  5. Lisa,
    First of all, welcome back. We've missed you! I, too, struggle with balance. My "job" (PhD student) is not one that can operate from 9 to 5 and be left at the office. And even though I've been at it for 3 years, I still haven't found a way to create a schedule that allows me to get it all done wile avoiding neglecting my family. When I worked corporate, my job was my life. So I guess I am not of help here :-)
    And in terms of your outfit, I love what you've done here. I may have to borrow that skirt!

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  6. I grew up the same way Lisa! My dad worked all the time but I had everything I needed. Now that I own my own business it is hard to find that balance but I also appreciate that time spent with my husband is worth more than anything.

    Love the outfit - the jcrew paisley print is so pretty and looks great with the striped top.

    Red Soles and Red Wine

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    1. Girl, I can't believe you're almost due - you definitely don't look it and haven't lost a bit of your style!

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  7. First of all, I looooooove this outfit! The perfect pattern mixing combo. You look so cute.

    Secondly, I sort of know what you mean but I don't typically have a hard time "turning off" from work. Sometimes I have trouble letting go of the frustrations & those spill over into me being bitchy to my hubby because I'm still pissed off about work stuff. But as far as making time for family & friends, I have no trouble doing that. I've always tried to live by the motto "Work to live rather than live to work." I do understand how hard it is to shake something that you grew up with as well.

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    1. It's hard to let go of the "live to work" thing in my household especially because BF started his own company recently and when it's your own baby, there are no hours!

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  8. I love how you paired the paisley with the stripes...it's unexpected and yet it totally works! I'm lucky in that I have a job where I leave the work at the office. I'm not on call and I don't have to do work at home ever. I also work part time (not by choice) so I do have a lot of time for my personal life. I think it's really important to take the time for YOU and not make your job your #1 priority. In the end, it's just a job!

    -Sharon
    The Tiny Heart

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    1. I wish I could leave work at the office - but most of the people from my company pretty much have their "crackberries" strapped to their hips at all times!

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  9. I'm very fortunate in that my job is not very demanding of beyond a 9-5 schedule. I don't have to travel for it and it doesn't often stress me out outside of the office. But I do sometimes get really antsy just with the amount of time that I am here and not doing SAHM things for my kids like picking them up from school or going to their trick or treat parade at school or anything like that. For me it is about finding a balance of what needs to be done after work and taking the time to do fun things with my kids and letting the dishes sit for a minute (which drives me INSANE! but sometimes it is funner to read books with my daughter or play tether ball with my son).

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    1. Yeah, I gotta let go of the waking up Saturday morning, seeing the condition of the house in the light of day, and not freaking out about it - because it isn't worth it!

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  10. Ugh, balancing is a skill I'm still trying to figure out! It's hard because in my area, it's quite the norm to be a stay at home mom and I work so there is a slight disconnect between the two worlds. That being said, the boss' wife stays home and while that is great, I think it's hard for him to understand that there are some days my kids NEED me more than the office does and it's hard for him to "get it" - if that makes sense.

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    1. I totally get it - and I totally think working moms get the bad end of the stick a lot of times! My sis is a working mom as are some of my gal pals and I feel like they are in no-win situations sometimes. Taking time from work because of family stuff gets no respect from co-workers but when some working dad takes time out to go to a softball game or something, he gets treated like dad of the year or something!

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  11. to be honest i'm learning to just stop looking at my phone after hours. with wedding planning i feel as if my life consists of work, wedding, bit of home life, and repeat. so i'm trying not to get burned out but some days its hard.

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    1. I don't know how you're doing it all, girl. At least are you just doing one job now instead of your own job and your new trainee's? ;o)

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  12. I love those shoes! Do you think they'd be worth buying? I feel I need a pair of snakeprint shoes in my closet!

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    1. I've not tried other shoes from ShoeMint but I definitely feel like the rosemary is worth it. The snake is turning out to be a great neutral that goes with a ton of things and even though it is a 4" heel, it is still a pretty comfy shoe (as far as 4" heels go, haha). I've looked for other sim style pumps before and they all cost more too!

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  13. I am the same way. I am organized and on top of things at work. My job is very fulfilling to me and I've given 110% there. However, at home...I'm falling apart. Emotionally and in every other way, I'm trying to find that balance right now. I realize I have my job so that I can live and do fun things outside of work, yet when it is also something I enjoy, it's hard for me to ignore the emails and deadlines of an evening or during weekends. Let me know when you find the answer to this! :) haha

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    1. My BF recently started his own company so there are no hours as far as he is concerned, there is just work, because if he doesn't do it, then no one else will, and because he loves it. When you got two workaholics in a group, it unfortunately is easy for life things to fall to the wayside!

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  14. I do try and "turn off" the job when I'm not there, but unfortunately, working in law enforcement, I turn on the news and I wonder if what I'm seeing will have an effect on what I walk into at the office the next work day. I love my job (really, I do) but sometimes it's so hard to get away and not think about it. I definitely have to make it a mission to not think about work when I'm on vacation (like now!).

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  15. You and me both, Lisa! Though I may be more OCD than you, so my personal life is a wee bit more organized. But it's still not even close to my work life. Bf asks me all the time why I don't go into work a bit late in the mornings when I go to bed later the night before. Sure my workplace has pretty flexible hours, so every once in awhile should be fine. Part of me knows this, but I just can't bring myself to. I've just been brought up to be disciplined in my work life because you never come performance review time. I don't have much advice to give, but just remember to take time off for yourself once in awhile, to refuel and recharge before burning out.

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  16. Really love your skirt! It is a very hard balance to find...I just try to get to work as early as possible so I don't have to stay too late!

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  17. Love the skirt and your mixed media necklace, its so cool!!
    Chic on the Cheap

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  18. Love the print of the skirt! And I think the first step is awareness to find that balance, which you seem to have done, then in time you'll find you'll start doing things to keep that balance. At least that's what happened to me... good luck!:p

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  19. omgosh that skirt is amazing on you! the print is gorgeous and i love the pop of neon on your necklace!!!

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  20. Love that stripe tee! I'm addicted to stripes...I seriously think that I need to start some kind of twelve-step program!
    Thank you for inspiring me with your daily outfits! I have nominated you for the Sunshine Award. :o)
    See Here

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  21. Gorgeous pattern-mixing as always!

    When I was younger, it was harder for me to separate work and family, but it gets easier as I get older. I really value my quiet personal time, and don't want work intruding unless absolutely necessary.

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  22. I'm kind of dying for this skirt! Your pattern mixing and outfits, as of late...AWESOME!

    Well, I'm still struggling with the whole balance thing but I've discovered that when I realize I can't be everything to everyone all the time, I'm a little bit happier:)

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  23. Your outfit is striking, and I particularly like the pattern on the skirt. Very pretty!

    I am a quintessential work-addict. If I'm not working at the office, I'm usually working at home. My parents are always busy doing stuff - both retired now, they continue volunteering at their church, entertaining (which they do a LOT!), travelling. My mom is a big sports fan, and my dad has science-related hobbies, so they are constantly in motion. I suppose I picked up on that energy, and though it's a good thing in general I've focused too much on the job-related work and not enough on channeling all that energy toward fun stuff.

    My husband is such a great balance for me, because while he's a hard working man he also treasures some relaxation time. I've much to learn in that arena.

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