20 December 2011

There Doesn't Seem to be Anyone Around

I may look like a grown up, but appearances can be deceiving. I think to be a grown up, you must have had experience doing mature responsible adult things, such as oh, say, living on one's own, for example. Well for a serial monogamous like myself, I pretty much went straight from living with my parents, to roommate living through college, and then straight into the cohabitating arms of a significant other.

I've only really lived alone once a few years back, before BF, for a period of about a year, probably less ('cause let's face it, once you start dating someone, even if you two lived separately, you spend so much time with each other and at each other's places that it no longer counts). I had just broken up with my then-boyfriend and while he got the dog in the split, I ended up with the short end of the stick - pretty much homeless.

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Thanks to the rec of some friends, I ended up at a ground floor one bedroom in a gated apartment complex. It was a pretty standard apartment - white walls, beige carpet, basic appliances. I was scared and excited for myself as this was a big deal for me. I would not have a parent or roomie or boyfriend to fall back on anymore, it was just my name on the lease, just me coming home every evening.

The hardest part for me in the beginning was that I realized I did not have any of my own stuff. I had to get a TV, a sofa (okay, Walmart futon, but with the upgraded cover), an armchair / massage chair and a bed all in a hurry. And strangely enough, ex helped me move my meager belongings and bring in my new furniture. I also bought a TV console all by myself, and spent one weekday evening - and an entire six pack of beer - assembling it. This was major - I was becoming a person with my own Stuff.

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If felt really weird at first coming home each night to - myself. It was dark until I turned on the lights. The bed was made if I made it. I hung cheap art on the walls that I bought from Pier One. I used to vacuum the entire apartment with one of those little Shark stick Vacs. I ate dinner sitting on the floor with my back to the futon because I had no tables. My idea of decor was a peculiar splurge of three Marimekko printed floor pillows. Everything in the fridge, every product, every decision - it was all about me. And that felt strange. And strangely liberating. For a short period, I literally had no one else to care about except for myself.

Honestly, I prefer where I am now. I have a live-in-BF-soon-to-be-hubby, an adorable pup, loads of stuff. I like having other people to take care of. I like cooking for more than just one person. I like having someone who can come in a hurry if I come across a big bug. But I do look back with fondness at that period, especially if the BF is driving me up the wall or if the list of stuff I need to get for the pup far outweighs what I need. However short it was, for a while, I was completely independent, on my own, all grown up.

Have you ever reall lived alone? What did you enjoy the most (and least) about when you lived by yourself?

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Top: F21 blurred birds (worn here - sim longer here, here, black here)
Skirt: J.Crew jardin (worn here - sim pricier here)
Belt: Asos metal keeper (orange here, aqua here)
Earrings: T+J Designs (worn here - sim here)
Shoes: Nine West temani (worn here - sim here, here)
Thanks to 60-something degree temps in SE, I can forego tights for yet another week!

24 comments:

  1. Now that I think of it, I haven't lived on my own EVER. From my parents, to a condo when I went to university with roomate who happened to be my older brother, then back to parents' house for a couple of months and met my then-boyfriend(now hubby). We moved in together not too long after and got married. But when hubby is away, I "treasure" my time alone with my doggie. We can eat whatever time we please. If I don't feel like cooking and would just eat cereal for dinner!

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  2. I love all of the flowiness in your outfit. Those sleeves paired with your full skirt, just have a nice symmetry with the birds in your blouse.

    As I was reading your post, I couldn't help but smile because I got nostalgic. It took me awhile to get my own place (went back home after college, moved out with a roommate, went back home to pay down bills and finally got my own place about 3 years ago), but I can still remember how incredibly exciting it was and how much I looked forward to make my own decisions about what to do in my space. There were times when I wished I had somebody around (I had to lug a huge box with my media table up three flights of stairs and it was ridiculously hard becasue that thing was heavvvvy. I was proud of the fact that I put it together all by myself), but overall, I loved it.

    It has been surprisingly easy living with my guy, but the one thing I do wish for is more space because having two people in a space meant for one is ridiculous. I love having someone to come home to, but sometimes I do wish for a lady cave, lol.

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  3. I am 35, and I have NEVER lived alone. I can't even imagine what that would feel like. (But I bet the quiet would be nice.)

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  4. one of my former housemates went abroad for about 6 months, so i had the place to myself then (she was the homeowner, so i didn't need to find another housemate). that's the only time i've ever lived alone!

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  5. I am the exact opposite....I am 35 and with the exception of a roommate for one semester my freshmen year, I have lived alone since I left for college at age 17.

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  6. Great post as always Lisa! I had my first kid at 18, so though I spent all but five or six years from then to now living "alone", it was also with three little ones. So I don't feel that that counts.

    Love this seagull shirt! So pretty!

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  7. I don't think most people have lived alone...I think most have lived with roommates/significant others...so kudos to you for doing so, even for only a little bit! You look adorable, and that shirt is awesome!

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  8. I lived alone for about 4 years and I loved every minute of it. I think it's important to be able to know that it's okay to be by yourself and be alone and gain independence. Thankful for that experience now, as my husband travels frequently for work. He can be out of the country for up to two months at a time, several times a year, and it doesn't cause strife between us. I love him at home and appreciate when he's here, but he doesn't have to worry about me being by myself.

    Your nails look fab! What color did you use? Love the Jardin skirt on you! Wish it looked as cute on me - not my best look.

    Happy holidays!

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  9. I've lived alone since 2008 and wouldn't have it any other way unless it was with a boyfriend or husband. OR a really, really close friend who is neat and clean and I could put up with. I just love my alone time. I cherish it and I can entertain myself. Guess that's what being an only child can do to ya :)

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  10. Never thought of it actually.......but yes, straight from parents house to living with significant other. Sometimes I wish he was a tad neater but I'd much rather have him there to pick up after than not at all! Lol I really love that skirt! You always have the most amazing skirts, I'm always in envy when I look at your posts ;)

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  11. You know it's funny cause in Chile (where I'm from) dorm rooms are almost non existant so a lot of people don't even leave their parent's home until after college! I went straight from my parents' house to having a roommate for 4 months during a work and travel program to living with my now hubby. I think I would have liked having something that was completely my own especially as far as decoration comes (Jb doesn't like my obsession for "girly" colors) but I wouldn't change my current arrangements for the world :)

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  12. I definitely look forward to the day I have a place of my own to fill with whatever I choose... But I know some part of me will miss having people around, people cooking, people watching tv, people annoying me by not loading the dishwasher correctly...

    I love your bird blouse, and the sleeves, so great!

    Chic on the Cheap

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  13. This is another gorgeous outfit!! I love all the details including your red nail polish!!

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  14. I have never lived alone. Ever. I went straight from college to moving in with my then bf, now hubby. I can't say I'm too sad about it though. I love the company, and it's so nice to always be sleeping next to someone :)
    www.saysskippy.blogspot.com

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  15. Small Town Gal - haha, it is funny, I kind of like it when BF is away and I can be messy if I want to (I am usually the mess police because BF is genuinely a slob) and do whatever - but when I have to go away and BF is home, he whines about it!

    fshnonmymind - oh lugging stuff around by yourself was the worse! And moving sucks too, especially after you've accumulated legit stuff!

    Dr. Da - I sometimes wish I could be that independent, but it soothes my inner lazy/shy person to know I've got BF around nowadays.

    Frannie Pantz - I started dating current BF a few months after having my own place and I totally don't count that as being alone anymore. But I always rather would be at my place instead of his - he's a mess!

    NVMolly - the color is Sally Hansen divine wine, thanks for asking. I actually didn't like the jardin skirt originally either - tried the dusty clay color and didn't like it, but ended up getting the violet on a whim on sale for addtl % off and loved it - oh what a new color and new price can do for ya, haha.

    Jenny - I had one gal pal around that same period who I was really close to but who was a raging mess! I remember stepping into her apartment once and it was literally like all her closets and drawers had exploded all over the rooms, I was stepping over panties to get to the bathroom! I would have killed her if I had to room with her, gack!

    Mrs Spanglish - if I stayed in NY, chances are I would've ended up living with my parents again after college - it is soooo expensive there!

    LyddieGal - problem with getting your own place - it is also all your own money! Towels and bath rugs aren't cheap!

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  16. I've lived alone once. My sister (and then roommate) decided to move to Australia and I couldn't afford our 2 bedroom apt on my own. So I rented a little studio apt and set it up quite nice. Lucky for me I didn't have to buy new furniture. I lived there for about 2 years and I liked it alot because I'm the type of person that likes to have alot of alone time. The only times when I didn't like it was during the night because, like you, I lived on the ground floor and I was worried someone was going to break in.
    I think living on your own is one of those things everyone should do at least once in their life. It's a good way to get to know yourself and be comfortable with who you are. Love yourself before you can love someone else...isn't that what they say? Living alone definitely helps with that.

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  17. such a fun top and i love the green belt with the purple!

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  18. i did, for a couple of years. it finally forced me to grow up! hardest and best thing ever.

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  19. Loving that bird top, the sleeves are great.

    I love your post, I went through the same thing and the thought of living alone, taking care of only myself was a strange, sometimes lonely, but exciting part of life. Now like you I have my hubby, dog, house, etc. But I do like looking back to my year where I lived by myself :)

    Red Soles and Red Wine

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  20. I lived alone once. When I got my job in Milwaukee, I moved 3.5 hours to an apartment in a neighborhood I now would never have considered. But then, what you didn't know, wouldn't hurt you. It was the first time I lived alone, ever, and after a day or two coming home and crying, I actually really enjoyed it. I loved the independence of moving to a new city, making new friends and being accountable to no one but myself. It was a great experience that taught me that if push came to shove, I could take care of myself.

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  21. I'm still living home at the moment, but I imagine living on your own can be a pretty daunting thing, especially as you said - having to buy your own furniture! I love your outfit - the purple and green work so well together, and that blouse is just lovely! :)

    -j
    TORY BURCH GIVEAWAY

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  22. Loving the green + dark purple. You look gorgeous in these pics!


    And I have lived alone...but like you it was for a brief amount of time. I think I lived truly alone for about 2 years. It wasn't always easy...often lonely...but I wouldn't trade that time for anything since I really was able to grow personally quite a bit during that time. It is also nice to have final say on all decisions from what to watch on tv, what to eat for dinner and what color to paint the living room!! Lol!
    XO - Marion

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  23. It has it's good and bad points. I get a little lonely. However, you have your privacy and serenity. LOL I think it's better to have someone, but that hasn't happened for me. I love your outfit Lisa. The sleeves on that top are gorgeous! You always look classy. :)
    http://sassyuptownchic.blogspot.com/

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  24. I have lived alone for about 4 years and counting. It's something I always wanted to do but it happened faster than I thought. I had trouble finding a room mate after my friend moved away. The only fear I had was how would I manage all the bills?! Once I had that straightened out, I loved the privacy and freedom. I think everyone should take the opportunity to live by themselves if the opportunity presents itself. It's nice to have someone else around but enjoying your own company is also important.

    Sweet Laundry sums it up nicely:
    I think living on your own is one of those things everyone should do at least once in their life. It's a good way to get to know yourself and be comfortable with who you are. Love yourself before you can love someone else...isn't that what they say? Living alone definitely helps with that.

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