The word "legimate" really stuck with me because I've been feeling that way for a while now with the BF. No no no, this is totally not a "wah, I wanna get married" post! I think the term "boyfriend" sounds fine when you're in your teens to early 20s. You're young, dating around, having fun. As the years pass after that, I think it becomes more and more awkward to use. Grown-ups aren't supposed to have "boyfriends" anymore, they are supposed to have "fiances," and "husbands," and "significant others." I think after you pass 25, you starting falling into the whole well why doesn't she have a husband yet hole because that's permanent and adult, whereas having just a boyfriend seems so fly-by-night.
BF and I have been living together for several years now and had dated for a year or two previous to that. We're not married or engaged, but we both feel like we're "together" as a unit. We've talked about all that stuff and we're pretty sure marriage is where the road will lead us, but we're happy where we are right now.
What bugs is that other people don't seem satisfied with where we are right now. BF gets along great with my parents, but whenever I speak to my mom, she acts like at any moment he's going to get on out and get himself another woman because we're not formally committed. And BF gets the "mm-hm" looks from co-workers when he introduces me as his girlfriend, like I don't know if it is worth getting to know you - you may not be around during the next company event.
I know we live in a modern society and I shouldn't care and should just concentrate on a relationship that works for us - once again, this is NOT a cry to get married! - but it seems difficult when those immediately around me do seem to care and treat us differently because of it. Who knew what a big difference a little bauble or lack of on your left ring finger could make?
For those of you ladies in committed but not married relationships, what do you think? For you married ladies, did you feel a noticeable treatable difference between when you and your hubby were just together vs after you were official? Why do you think people think like that? And if you agree with the above thinking, why do you feel that way?