15 July 2011

Life Exposures

Hi, my name is Lisa. I'm a blogger. You know what I look like, what I like to wear, what my sizes are. You know I have a pup named Pacey and a long-time live-with BF. I sometimes travel for my job. I am obsessed with Anthro and J. Crew. I am scared of maxi dresses. I like to cook sometimes, I like to eat all times. My hair is a constant point of contention. So you think you know me?

When I first started blogging, I loved the community of like-minded fashion lovers but I was scared of the idea of being "exposed online." I cut myself off at the head in my pictures and even briefly considered using a psuedonym. I was pretty strict about leaving it just to fashion topics and didn't even like the idea of sharing my size - I did but didn't want my business out there!

I got a bit more comfortable (and confident) over the next few months and now you can see me in my full goofiness and even know a bit about me. I still tend to keep things light and not get into too many details about my boring ole life though - plus I don't want to include other people who may not want to have their faces plastered on the Internet (though what those yahoos do on their own Facebook pages is their own stupid business). Other than my own and my pup's, I also leave names out of the equation. Most of my friends don't know that I blog, but it still would make me feel weird if they found out I was "talking" about them (BFs don't count, haha).

You know how you can talk about certain things with certain friends, but not others? So I can gush and commiserate about fun fashion-y lifestyle things with my blog friends and leave out potential drama? That's kind of where my comfy blogging/real life place is.

How much do you disclose on your blogs? How do you decide what you feel comfortable with? Is there a such thing are being too cautious online, or just being too open?

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I don't think little miss frowny-face pup thinks my necklace is as cool as I do!

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Top: J. Crew max & molly gallery (worn here before - similar here, here)
Skirt: Talbots washed full silk (similar here)
Belt: J. Crew (similar here, here)
Cuff: The PS Boutique via Etsy (worn here before - similar here)
Necklace: lucie0ellen via Etsy (similar here)
Shoes: Coach ireena (now on sale, worn here before - similar here)

31 comments:

  1. As a new blogger, I'm still figuring this out. It's a pretty tough issue! One set of my friends which is very small knows that I am blogging but most do not. My family knows I have a blog but I haven't let any of them read it yet. I'm just afraid of making a mistake in telling someone I shouldn't have and not being able to take it back! I don't want any negativity to come from blogging, it's supposed to be for fun.

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  2. I have been conetmplating this on my blog as well. It's entering the toddler stages and I can never really tell what is too much to share and what puts people to sleep and whether to just leave it to fashion or bring in other things/people in my life. I think you do a great balance of what I call shtuff on here. I love reading your blog! One of my faves for sure!

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  3. Love your blog btw... I check it almost everyday. :) BTW, you look really cute in this outfit. (Don't get mad!) But I think some colorful fun shoes would have even added to this mix.

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  4. Love that fun necklace!

    I think I've seen extremes of both being too open and being too cautious. Some people I know let it all hang out online,

    On the other hand, I know people who practically run screaming from cameras during group activities because they're terrified their picture may wind up on someone's private blog.

    I try to keep a balance of the two, I guess. Yes, you can see pictures of my family online and you can probably figure out what part of the country I live in. Yes, I share some personal stuff, I just try not to share anything TOO personal. (I don't announce that I'm going on vacation for a month or where my kids go to school.) I also make sure not to post anything that might seem hurtful or embarrassing to someone else should they happen to stumble upon it. (To this day, some of the scariest words ever to me are "You've been tagged in a photo"...)

    I think we need to remember that not everyone online is 'out to get us', but we shouldn't make it too easy in case anyone is. ;)

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  5. Hahahaha, oh Lisa, that photo of your pup wearing your necklace is priceless! I love it.

    Hmmm.... as far as revealing myself on my blog, well I still feel very new at this blogging thing so I'm still kind of figuring out my place in the blogger world. I'm a little hesitant to reveal to much about myself at this point, but that may change as I continue to blog and feel more comfortable doing so!

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  6. LOL, Pacey is so cute. You're hilarious, Lisa. I really love the topics you discuss on your blog. Today's is another good one, although I don't even know where to begin. I am still in the beginning stage of cautious-ness with my blog. I always cut my face out of my photos. But one day, I hope to become more comfortable, just as you have because I don't think that people know that I'm actually quite funny (not to toot my own horn)! I look like such a stiff dork in my photos. So, I resolve to include one goofy one on my blog soon. That's a promise.

    And with regards to this outfit, I just saw Inkmark sport a graphic-tee with a skirt and I love how you've done the same!

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  7. What a cute outfit!

    I know exactly what you mean...being a weight loss blogger it's hard to disclose all of the feelings that go along with food, as well as to admit that there are parts of my "self" I'm unhappy with. It can become a tiny violin scenario real fast, you know? IRL, I don't talk much about my weight at all, and I think most people would call me pretty confident. But I often (OFTEN) think about how food/guilt/weight/beauty all collide, as well as the "privileges" that go along with being fit and slim.

    Basically I try never to share what I'm not comfortable having exposed, even if I'm not chatting it (the topic) up in real life.

    Good question! Have a great weekend.

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  8. What a great point/observation. I am new to blogging, so I am trying not to spill the beans about everything. But since blogging I feel like you get to know some of these people, but you still have to remember that it's the internet and anyone can read what you write. Plus trying to find your audience or following, you wonder "Am I writing anything worthwhile, funny, boring?" I think as long as you don't put too much out there (like where you live-stalkers) it's ok. It's a difficult thing to balance that's for sure.

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  9. Love, love LOVE the skirt! Why must add things to my want list? I enjoy your blog because your your fun personality and great stories!

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  10. Anon @ 12:56 - no worries, girl! Looking at the pics, I totally think you're right about adding some colorful shoes. I was trying to find something to go with the belt though, and you know when you get stuck on something and "must make it work?" ;o)

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  11. I heart Pacey. So adorable and you're not so bad yourself lady ;)

    I try to keep a balance with my blog. I always tell myself I want to be personable without getting too personal. I want my readers to feel they can relate to me and they know me, but I'm not going to air my dirty laundry, talk about my relationship or get too personal. I keep names out as well. I think you're doing a great job finding that balance Lisa. I totally feel I know you, but I don't feel like I'm reading a diary when I come here, if you know what I mean. I've seen some bloggers go all out and honestly, I don't care for it. There are some things that are just too personal to be out on the internet.

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  12. I was the same way as you starting up. I didn't want to reveal too much about my life and just wanted to stick to what I was wearing. But I did want to document stuff that would happen in my life and I figured blogging about it would be a good "time-capule" and a good record keeper. That way I could always look back at what I did, how I felt and especially what I was wearing! :D

    Complex Cardigans

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  13. Yes! This is my exact question! I've been reading blogs for a couple of years and noticed the transition that bloggers have from no face shots to full face shots and I am curious about how they decide they are comfortable with exposing more of themselves online. But, when I go to write that question in an email, it comes across as bitchy (or at least I think it could be construed as B) but really it is an honest question with no bitchiness WHATSOEVER.

    What is the change that happens to make you feel more comfortable? I am guessing it's when more people write positive comments and you feel like part of the blogging community, you then feel better about exposing more of yourself? Maybe? No? :) I'll just wait and see, I am still in the cover my face stage.

    btw: thank you for bringing up this topic!

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  14. well, you know I'm 31, a teacher, married and have two dogs.. wow, did I just describe a million and more people? yes I did!

    I am a head-cutter-offer for a lot of reasons and to this day the only person in my "real life" who knows about my blog is my husband and I don't even show it to him because .. well... I don't know, I just don't.
    I need to maintain privacy because I work with kids that are at an age where they haven't all figured out that teachers are not friends. I used to worry horribly about facebook because once in a while a student would find me and request me as their friend.. which would lead to an awkward convo at school the next day. I think FB has been around long enough now that kids know it's not appropriate.

    I like hearing about others lives because I am voyeuristic .. i like to people watch and watch reality tv and listen to other ppls conversations on the subway. When it comes to sharing info about myself, I'm a bit more reluctant. Although, I do share more on my blog than I originally thought I would.

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  15. oh- pacey is simply stunning in that necklace (you too!)!

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  16. I think you do a great job of balancing the personal stuff. I'm still trying to find that balance... I've only been blogging a few months and I'm still a little paranoid that someone is going to steal my identity or something crazy, haha.

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  17. heh..I share my face but not a lot actually about myself I guess- it is a very individual decision! Your t-shirt is just as adorable as Pacey in a necklace...

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  18. My blog was "outed" when I went to India, but the direction was more life-based at that point. Some of my "real-life" friends have some idea that I still blog but probably don't realize how involved in fashion blogging I am. I feel kind of weird about it :)

    I'm like you - I like to add bits and pieces of my life but like to keep the blog light at heart.

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  19. I try not to reveal anything too personal ... You never know who is reading. I mean, it could be my boss! I like to write about those silly funny things that happen to me in my daily life..sometimes nothing happens so I don't blog...hence why I only blog two times a week! I think I'm worried about perverts and the like more than anything though. In my photos now, I *try* to look away from the camera...Or let my hair cover part of my face. Sometimes it doesnt work though!

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  20. I completely understand where you're coming from. I, too, contemplated on whether or not I should show my face or give my full first name (I went by "K" at first). I've also gotten more comfortable...my goal is to try to keep things relatable by sharing stories from my roles as a teacher and mom, but also keeping the real juicy stuff to myself for privacy purposes! ;)

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  21. Lisa!!! Love your blog, outfit, and puppy!!! LOL! I feel I'm very new to blogging (and haven't done anything in forever bc we are in an absurdly long transition period--moving from midwest to east coast) and am also trying to figure out how much I want to disclose. I am generally an open book, but I am fiercely private when it comes to people I am close with so that hinders a lot. I totally love your phrase "comfy blogging/real life" about as much as I love those shoes!!!

    Hope your summer is going well!!

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  22. No head everyday, but my face/head is at the top of my blog so people can mentally fill it in. No names either. This all might change one day, but for now, I like sharing what I'm wearing, a few words and that's about it. I must say though that I love your blog and it is a daily read :)

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  23. No last name. LOL. My first name is right there next to my comment :D

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  24. Part of my decision to re-name my blog was so that my worlds (real life and blogging life) could collide. I finally (after 2.5 years) have shared my blog with co-workers and that's not only because I'm confident of where it is now, but because I can finally be proud of it. Like you I used to seperate the two, but now I'm starting to find that even people outside of my blogger friends are not only understanding, but wanting to know more about my alter ego.

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  25. I think there's definitely a line where one can share too much information online. I have accounts on nearly every major online journaling platform there is, and I keep them all separate because I feel like they're all geared toward different audiences. Only a couple of my real-life friends know I blog, and I'll only mention people if I've okay-ed it with them first or they are bloggers as well.

    I think how much you share is up to you and the kind of blogging experience you want to have. I share tidbits from my life, but where I feel necessary, I change names and places to ensure my privacy. Ultimately, it's probably safer to have less on blogger though, because it's not particularly private, you know?

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  26. First off your pup is just so adoooorable with that necklace. tee hee!

    When I frist started my blog, I wanted to keep everything strictly sartorial. I didn't want to share too much about myself, because there are WEIRDO's out there. I feel like I've definitely shared personal things on my blog, but I don't feel like I've exposed too much.

    However, I've made great friends from this thing we call blogging. So, there's a plus. :D

    I'm glad that you decided to share with us your beautiful face, Lisa. AND I love that you are obsessed with Anthro!!!

    xx Love & Aloha

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  27. I'm a head cropper and the major reason is work. Also, I have no desire to be recognized by people on the street, which I know has happened to other bloggers. I realize I've put things online that I can't take back, but I just mean that they're floating around permanently in some cache or in 'the cloud,' I suppose. I've never written anything that I wish to take back, though.

    The illusion of a veil gives me the space to share things I wouldn't have otherwise shared, i.e. miscarriage. I'm sure I contradict myself because I don't really want to be forthcoming about it irl, but at the same time I would talk without reservation to anyone about it who is going thru something similar and have put lots of info about my experience online. The difference to me is that I feel that I've helped people and they've helped me thru sharing online. Whereas irl, for people to know what I've been thru is an opportunity for them to spread gossip. And to get the info incorrect to boot. That I don't like -- being in a room and people knowing deeply personal things about me when I know nothing about them. If I felt that it wasn't gossip oriented and they truly cared about what happened, I wouldn't mind. But I had a situation where someone was just curious...wanted to know just to be in the know. And then passed on the info to more people I don't know. That upset and irked me so much. I don't need to be gossip fodder. Esp when it comes to a painful event in my life.

    Kind of a vent. Thanks for the space ;)

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  29. Oops, sorry, deleted comment due to typo.

    That necklace is pretty great.

    For myself, I don't think there is any such as thing as sharing too little information online. I share way more than I would once ever dreamed of doing, and it's still far less than many people would. I like talking (online or off) to people about various topics, but I don't like arguing or being judged. So I keep things compartmentalized, online and off, and I'm happier that way. (No one in my offline life knows about my blog, and why should they? It's not about them or about anything that interests them.)

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  30. I'm loving all of these deep discussion topics you've been bringing up!!

    My mother is a worry-wart about life and the internet and she passed on some of her tendencies to me. I've never gotten particularly personal on my blog and only a handful of people who would understand the whole blogging thing are in the know about my blog. I'm a private person in real life though, so I don't like to put so much out there. However, lately I've been wondering if I should share a big more. I read a few blogs where the writer can get real deep and let it all hang out and I kind of admire that transparency, that this is who I am kind of attitude. I would love to acquire some of that spunk, but I have a mainly fashion blog, so how deep can I really get?

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  31. How in the world did you ever get Miss Congeniality to sit so still, prim and proper. I think the Frowny Face is a put on. Pacey is using reverse Psychology. She wants that necklace. I can see it in her eyes. I'm surprised she didn't try to chew it up.

    You BTW, are too cute for words. Royal Blue is you all the way. How sweet are those Pups in the Bicycle Basket.

    I've gone off the deep end a few times. Like when I wrote about my Dad and cried thorugh the whole Post. There were other times I would sit down and just start writing some personal things. After writing and editing for a few hours, I would decide not to Post. those Posts sit unpublished. Funny I never go back to them. The idea of what, when, why and how to share as a Blogger is an entirely random thing for me. I never plan to write anything. The only thing I am always sure about, it my outfit. The rest is dust in the wind.

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