28 June 2011

The Chromatic Office

A friend of mine asked me the other day whether or not I thought it was a harmless thing to have a little crush on someone other than your current significant other. As in not one of those "I love Christian Bale, he's so dreamy" crushes (though I DO love Christian Bale because he IS dreamy) but one of those I actually know this person and they exist and know I exist crushes.

Now, friend of mine - we'll call her FOM for short - is married and has been happily with her man for the past three years. But recently a co-worker from another office has come to town for a project and they've been working closely together. Co-worker also happens to be close to FOM's age, is unmarried and pays her a lot of attention. Like takes his lunch breaks with her, gets angry when he feels that she's been walked over by her fellow officemates, and always goes to hang with her when there's a lull in work. Plus, according to FOM, he ain't too bad a looker either. But I bet he isn't Christian Bale ... le sigh.

So I'm thinking that little miss FOM is just basking in the temporary light of getting some male attention at the workplace and feels flattered. I'm thinking that since co-worker guy will be headed back to his office clear across the country soon and they will then rarely get to see or speak to each other after this project is over, there's nothing wrong in having a little something that makes a person actually want to go into the office each day. And maybe be a wee more careful with her makeup and hair.

What is a leeeetle bit questionable to me is that apparently co-worker guy has a girlfriend back at home. Which in all their conversations, he has failed to bring up to FOM. (I did get this info from a reliable source, we'll call that source Other FOM who also happens to work at the same office and does dude stuff with co-worker guy). So does this mean there's a returned office crush ...? Is there sketchiness going on?

OK, OK, short of turning this into an episode of Days of Our Lives, I honestly think FOM just has an innocent work crush that already has an expiration date. I think co-worker guy probably is just basking in his female office attention while he's away. And that's that. But this is such a shaky ground to walk on and all I can think of is be careful, girl! And dude, if you've got a girl and you're getting flirty on the road ... bad, dude, bad ...

This post is way more gossip-y than I am usually am, but since I've already spent this entire post being nosy neighbor who loves to spill other people's beans ... I'd love to know what you ladies think?

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Dress: Anthro Floreat chromatic canvas (via the EA Trade Market - similar-ish herehere in white)
Cardigan: J. Crew jackie (similar here)
Belt: Banana Republic braided (similar here)
Shoes: Kenneth Cole Reaction pine a colada (worn here before - similar here)

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Don't forget, only a few more days to enter my giveaway for a set of striped Rebecca Minkoff canvas pouches! You can ENTER HERE.

Also, I'll be loading a bunch of fresh items this week to my blog sale site - including lots of size 7.5 shoes. Check out my blog sale here.

30 comments:

  1. OK, first, way cute dress! Now, that story is possibly harmless, but potentially dangerous. In any event, it was very entertaining....
    besos, lynn

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  2. I first think that that dress is adorable! I second think that I agree with you, to a point. If all that FOM and this FOMcrush are doing is innocent lunches, etc. then no harm no foul. If this leads to something more (texting, flirting, etc.), basically anything she would not do in front of her hubby, then that's wrong. But cruses? Innocent flirting? Eh, whatever.

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  3. ummmmmm i have these a lot. but like you said they have an expiration date. it's not forever. i am wearing my dress on friday! thanks for reminding me!

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  4. LMAO at your last picture. Thanks for my first real laugh of the day.

    Oh myyyyyyyyy ... I, too, have a FOM who played with this particular brand of fire? Wanna know the end result? Marriage counseling and the throwing of the D word around ... careful careful ... Emotional dishonesty on any level has a nasty way of flaring and rearing up when you least expect it ...

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  5. Spotted. L dishing some juicy gossip. LOL. ;)

    I think a harmless "crush" is okay, but then it could lead to dangerous territory... like, do they text, hang out outside of the office, etc?? If your FOM is confident that it's innocent fun, then maybe she should share this "crush" with her hubby. Honesty is key in a realationship and so is communication. :D

    On a sartorial note, me loves the dress and also that 3rd photo... puts a smile on my face!

    xx Love & Aloha

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  6. BTW, my current crush Matt Bomer. YUMMY!! I have a date with him every Tuesday night... and the hubby doesn't mind. hahaha.

    xx Love & Aloha

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  7. love, love, love this dress and cardigan combination-- so fresh and cute for summer!

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  8. Ooooh......intrigue! I'd actually have to go with no good on the office crush but I've seen inocent things get out of hand before and there's no sense in risking a lifelong commitment. Glad to have you back btw ;)

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  9. love the outfit!

    as for workplace stuff... i always tell people to tread with caution. i've watched it get ugly.

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  10. You look so gorgeous Lisa...loving the colors! And your poses are funny...haha.
    I read your story and I don't know...Im not liking the direction it's heading. Happily married women shouldn't be acting like that. It's a bit suss. And if the guy in question did not bring up his gf in convo..well that seems obvious! Celeb crushes are ok ( I have a thing for rpattz), but it's different when it comes to real life crushes. Good thing the guy is moving to a different office:-)

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  11. I love seeing how you wore this dress to work. I will have to try it sometime soon!

    Days of our lives, indeed! It's a fine line too me. I think it's ok to even be attracted to people that are not your significant other as long as you know you won't be spending that much time said crush. Otherwise it's a slippery slope.

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  12. Adorable dress/sweater combo -- love it! I have that same cardi and it is adorable.

    I think it can be a slippery slope with office crushes, especially when one or both are married. I've seen it turn into a full fledged affair and damage families. I wouldn't want my husband fawning all over a co-worker for sure.

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  13. Sweet outfit Lisa and can tell it's put you in a cheerful mood!

    Great story and a popular one I think. I've seen this happen more than once, and it's almost always a result of people not being satisfied in their current situation (or with themselves) and looking for validation from the first person who tosses it. I would even venture to say that sometimes we (as ppl) can show how much (or little) validation we need from others, and a detection or sign of need can lead to other things. Or just make the person an easier target. I definitely delved into this one! but it's a very interesting situation. I enjoy the topics you bring up!

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  14. I think if it's something she is keeping from her husband then it's probably a bad thing. Not that I think she has to tell her husband she has an office crush but if she hasn't mentioned the dude to her husband and that she thinks he pretty rad then I don't know... I probably wouldn't feel so good if I knew my husband was doing that. I say follow the golden rule when it comes to marriage.

    AND You are looking good Lisa!

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  15. one more thing,, this reminds me of the episode of Kind of Queens where carrie mentions a crush (famous guy, don't remember exactly who she settles on) and then asks Doug who his free pass/crush is and he says her nail girl. lol.

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  16. I love this dress and need to wear mine soon! The colors are awesome, aren't they??

    Does anyone else have work husbands or work wives? I use to have a work husband, then he moved to another office. We partnered up and spent a lot of time together but both knew that was it. There are a couple other people at work in these "relationships" and some people raise an eyebrow but it is definately NOT a DOOL type situation. But if the relationship spills over into spending time alone outside of work, that would be weird. I know I considered my work husband like a brother. I'm sure he looked at me like a sister, too. It was just nice to have him around ;-)

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  17. you look so cute in that dress/cardi! Now I want to wear mine! Tell your friend to run- that innocent crush could ruin her marriage!!

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  18. First of all, you look absolutely lovely in that dress!

    Second of all, I will say that I know how dangerous office crushes can be. They're not good. EVER. And that's my opinion.

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  19. This was a fun post to read. But only because I'm not personally involved.

    If FOM is talking about it, then it is likely completely innocent. But if this kind of behavior happens too often, there are some potential problems. I would be mortified to find out that the man I am married to was behaving like this at work. I would make Pea Soup out of him for carrying on this way in front of everyone in his office. Make that Creamed Pea Soup. Not to mention the fact that he is risking his job.

    The Chromatic Canvas was at the top of my Wish List for 6 months. It was one of those dresses that I was afraid to order. I just knew it would never look as good as it does on you. So pretty. So Bright. You look fresh and colorful as a Summer day.

    Yeah! I took the plunge and now have a Black, and a Laquer Yellow Jackie Cardigan. Aren't you proud of me Lisa?

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  20. Hmmm...pretty juicy stuff I just read. I hope no one gets caught on Cheaters in the near future. he he.

    I must say that dress your wearing is fabulous the print and the bold colors are calling my name. I love the cardigan color you picked to go with it. Beautiful outfit!! :)

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  22. If FOM gets a little lift, that's not a bad thing. If she's fantasizing and going to carry things on in her mind or heart after the contract is over, that's another ball o' wax. I agree w/others that honesty is key. If she needs more from the husband, work on figuring out how to ask him for it.

    Love your jumping shot. Cute outfit :)

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  23. Love this outfit! Sounds like a crazy situation with your friend! As long as it's innocent and nothing is acted upon, she should be good lol!

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  24. Thanks for your words of kind advice, ladies, maybe I shouldn't be so "eh, it's not a problem" with my friend! I don't think these two have seen each other outside of work unless it is for a group office dinner though I never really thought to ask about communication outside of work either. I think it is totally innocent right now and I honestly totally think she just gets along with him and is flattered a bit for not having to work the same old men and women she usually has to!

    I totally get the Office Husband comment and have had 2-3 of them myself. But my previous office hubbies have all been older married men too and I have always thought of them as a brother - who better to commiserate with than someone who's been in the trenches with you?

    I did have a co-worker before who couldn't even tell his wife when he was going to lunch with a female co-worker! Apparently in a previous job, he had a female co-worker that was a touch too friendly with the men (but ALL the men) at work social events and that got his wife hot under the collar in a bad way. Now he can't even admit to the wife when he's just running out to Subways with a female co-worker!

    I get the whole honesty thing but if it were me, I'd personally be afraid to tell the BF if I was crushing on someone else, or mentioning a male co-worker too often. I know if the roles were reverse, I may be seeing red!

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  25. I always just think, how would your FOM feel if her man had a "crush" on a real-life co-worker who he saw daily, interacted with, harmlessly flirted with...I just don't think it's right. A harmless crush is on a dude or a chick you see but never talk to or come in contact with on a personal level. Just eye candy. Just my two cents! I haven't seen this dress in a while, and I love it on you! Such a fabulously retro print.

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  26. You look fabulous in this dress! Love the retro feel of it. I have to say that I agree with most of the comments here... this situation can spiral out of control very quickly. Something that starts out innocent enough can become dangerous in a split second. I imagine that if her husband was feeling like he had a crush on someone he worked closely with, she probably wouldn't be feeling too great about it! I would definitely be very hurt and upset if this happened with my husband.

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  27. You should tell FOY to be careful. Rather than crushing on the newness of this guy, she should do something to bring the spark back into her relationship, which is probably why she's engaging someone else.

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  28. I love your outfit. This dress looks great on you!

    As for your friend, I think as long as their head is on straight crushes are mostly harmless. Sure they can spiral into something more but they can just as quickly fizzle when you learn some dealbreaker-ish detail that squashes the fantasy aspects of crushing...

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  29. I never noticed the turquoise in that dress before seeing it here with the bright cardigan- sweet! This suits you perfectly- I'm glad you found it (3 cheers for EA and the EA market, though I have successfully avoided it for the last month or so- good Sarah almost wins!)

    I think those situations can be fun, within very, very strict limits! Though it's true where I used to kind of like that attention, now it just feels awkward and embarrassing!

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