26 August 2010

Pinkies Up, Please!

I can take myself seriously in my pics for about a minute. Then I look like this.

Top: Anthropologie Little Yellow Button Curated tee
Skirt: Banana Republic (worn here and here before)
Shoes: Sofft Giovanna (worn almost every day)
Necklace: Anthropologie Double Torsade (worn here, here and here before)

After a recent post from the fabulous Melissa regarding commenting, I got to thinking about blogger etiquette. There are a lot of new technology and social media platforms that are being embraced all over the place, and because of that, loads of people have questions around about the right way to interact with others through those tools. I too, am one of those people, especially because I feel like a lot of us tend to forget our general social graces when utilizing these tools.

I think it is awesome that blogs exist for people to share ideas and interests in a fairly informal forum that is easily accessed and distributed. But when was it OK to start leaving snarky anon comments to complete strangers or to steal pics and entire posts from other people just because they aren't in your same blog circle?

I've never tried passing myself off as an expert in anything, so take the below with a grain of salt and understanding that these are my personal views. Here are my unofficial rules for blogging:

1. Be prepared that folks won't agree with you
(If you're going to come out with a personal editorial about your feelings about the folks who run the government or just who makes the better brand of lip gloss, understand that not everyone is going to agree - and that's OK)

2. Be respectful
(As an add-on to #1, disagreeing with someone doesn't mean it is alright to not be polite just because you can hide behind your computer while doing it)

3. Acknowledge your sources
(We get ideas from other bloggers and other sites all the time, what's the harm in sourcing them to give them proper credit?)

4. Responding to comments
(I feel like if someone's going to take the time to read and comment on a post, it should be reciprocated in some way. Do I think that means every comment should be responded to every time? Heck no, who has the time? but personally blog banter is one of my fave parts of blogging!)

I intentionally left this post short (my version of short?) because I'm interested in hearing from you lovelies. What are your ideas of blog etiquette? What do you consider your major blogging Dos and Don'ts?


  1. Great skirt and post today Lisa!

    I have been in a bit of a quandry re: #4...I love reading the small amount of comments on my blog but am unsure how to respond. I usually just try to comment on those people's blog who comment on mine, just to be nice. And when I leave comments I don't necessarily expect to be answered, which is why I try to leave my comments short and to the point :)

  2. I totally agree with you!! I have gotten some rude comments on my blog and think are we still in high school? I think if your don't have something nice to say... I also try and comment back to those that take the time to comment on my blog. I really appreciate comments and know how much they mean to me so I assume the same for others. I just try and appreciate everyone's blog because although they are all differnt there is something I can learn from them!

  3. first of all, I love that skirt!

    As far as blogging etiquette, my BIGGEST thing is don't beg for followers. It really bugs me when people comment "Oh, hey, like that skirt...please please please follow me because I follow you!". I understant people want to build their readership and stuff like that, but I don't get the begging for followers things. And for myself, I don't follow blogs I'm not interested in. There are so many fashion bloggers out there, I just can't follow all of them so I pick and choose...and it's not meant to be an insult to anyone, but I'm not going to buy a book I don't want to read either, you know?

    As far as your rules, I agree! I hate it when bloggers get offended that someone disagrees with them. If you are putting your opinions out in cyber world, it's something you need to expect. As long as the reader's opinions are presently kindly, I don't have a problem if someone said "that skirt really isn't flattering".

    Oh, and I'm REALLY bad about responding to comments. Mostly because I figure people don't check back to read what I commented on, but also because writing "thanks" over and over again just because someone complimented me gets boring. If people ask a questions in a comment though, or write something that is "worth" responding to, I certainly respond then. I do like the comments that just involve people saying I look cute, though!

  4. This is the ugly side of the internet that I can't ever deal with. The best we can do is surround ourselves with a community that will look out for each other and protect ourselves as much as we can from the start.

  5. That is a great skirt! I'm a new reader(and very new to style blogging), but I have been enjoying your blog for several weeks now. I think your list of Dos and Don'ts is pretty good and can't think of anything to add. If #4 gets out of hand, I would guess its a matter of volume. If anyone comments on my blog right now, I will respond directly to their comment, but I don't get many comments.

  6. I love that skirt and it's so pretty paired with a bright color.

    Like Ashley above, one of my biggest peeves is when people stop by, didn't read any of my posts, and still ask for me to follow them. It seemed to happen a lot when I didn't have a lot of followers. I don't mean to insult them by not following them, but their tactic comes off as brash and it seems like not very good networking.

  7. I don't understand people who anonymously leave nasty comments, find something better to do than try to drag someone down that way!

    I was a bit unsure about leaving comments when I first started reading fashion blogs earlier this year, i.e. why would the blogger be interested in my two-pence worth?

    I'm not so scared now and it is really handy when something drops into the Antrho sale here to be able to ask a blogger what they thought of the fit. Just yesterday the curated tee went down to £14.95 and Sara at You, Me etc had worn hers just the day before and kindly told me what size she went for.

    As I only shop Anthro online the blogs are a fantastic source of information so it's always nice to thank them for their thoughts : )

  8. Ooh what an interesting entry. I don't even know where to begin.

    The internet can be such an informal forum sometimes and I realize that certain people will get ideas from other bloggers but don't source the original blogger. I feel like a lot of people are respectful, but some are down right thieves. And there are those people that just don't think twice about sourcing, which also shows a certain aspect of their personality.

    In regards to commenting, I try very hard to respond to comments that are left by a certain number of dedicated readers I have (yourself included!!!). I like to comment on other people's entries as well, but I try to make what I say more substantial than just "ooh pretty shoes!". I almost always check back on others' blogs to see if they've responded to my comments especially if I've left a question. There are a lot of my followers that are extremely great at responding to comments like Cat, Aimee, Sara, Debbie, Erin yourself to just name a few. I feel like these comments are like conversations sometimes and if we're responding back and forth, it creates a deeper blogging friendship than me just showing you guys what I wear and you responding with "Ohhh Cindi I love that dress on you!" The best part about blogging for me is actually not me taking pics and dressing up, but of the comments I get and some of the friendships I feel I've formed due to this medium.

    And also, I totally don't understand why people would get upset because someone don't have the same taste as them! I know not everyone will go out and get the new sweater I just got because they saw it on me. It's just stupid to do so! What silly people! :)

  9. I really love that skirt! And the outfit as usual is great :)

    I have been lucky enough (so far) to not have any negative comments left on my blog. I have welcomed constructive critism since that's what I started the blog for - to learn! I try to leave comments where I can only b/c I know how nice it is to leave comments. But there are days when I just don't feel like it so I won't. Or I don't have enough time to thoroughly read a post and I just skim so I won't bother commenting. I try to respond to comments on specific items or questions and will try to do an overall "thanks" when I can.

  10. Why would blog etiquette be any differenct from the manners you learned as a child? ie, "If you don't have something nice to say-keep your mouth shut"-I'm taling to you annoymous meanies with nothing better to do than rain on someone's parade.

    Regarding comments, "If someone offers a compliment, say thank you." I get a few comments on my blog and always read and reply, even if it is a generic "thanks to both of you for stopping by". I adore my "virtual bloggie friends" and it makes me angry if someone is rude to any of you.

  11. I love the bright orange? with a neutral, must try that.

    I comment back (on their blogs) when people comment me, like you said to build a relationship. I also tend to follow my followers but it's getting a little crazy! I can't keep up!
    I have yet to deal with negative comments, eek, for the most part I feel like the blogging community is so sweet and open and I've made real relationships with people!

  12. One of my favorite things about blogging have been the friendships I've developed through regular commenting, which leads to twitter, email, etc. I do not respond to each and every comment, but do try and visit the blogs of those who have commented and post back. For my regular commenters, it may not be every time, but I try and show my gratitude as often as I can.

  13. I completely agree with you. Also, I really dislike blogs where you post a comment and the blogger hardly ever, if at all responds. I find that to be rude and honestly, it makes me frequent them less, if at all
    It is always important to be polite and respectful, face to face, or not!

  14. Great post! I'm always so worried about offending someone with my opinions. I tend to be thick skinned and not get bothered by what other people think of me, but I know that not everyone is like that. As a result, I over think what I'm going to write and end up being too conservative about how I express myself in order not to offend those who may be extra sensitive. I try to be respectful, but I also feel that others need to learn to be more understanding (i.e. toughen up) that people have different tastes and ideas of how the world should be run and not be over offended if I should disagree with you. I have friends of all different walks of life and I like that. It should be the same in the blogging world.

  15. Oh I was going to add--I often wonder if people actually read everything I write or if they just scan the pictures. I admit I don't read every single updated post that comes up on my dashboard (sheesh that would take me all day), but the ones that I comment on, I make sure to read it all--it is a blog after all.

  16. Love your outfit and your "walk like an egyptian" pose (or at least that's my interpretation) ;D

    On the subject of blogger etiquette, I'm fairly new to the blogosphere myself, and am cautiously finding my "voice".

    1. for style-blogging, you know when you put yourself out there i.e. your outfits, your taste, your picks & pans, someone is going to agree with you. But that's perfect OK right? Otherwise I'd be surrounded by clones of me, all wearing button down shirts, with cardigans, straight-legged trousers and sensible pumps, all in neutrals!

    2. I apply some "real world" etiquette, sim. to a previous comment here, that if I don't do that in the real world, why would I do it online?

    3. Not acknowleging sources...isn't that called Plaigerism or Stealing? Not cool.

    4. I try to thank everyone who leaves a comment on my blog. The volume is manageable at this point. We'll see when I get overrun with followers...(not begging here! haha).

  17. I agree that if you just apply etiquette as you would in real-life, it works out for everyone in the blogging land :-)

    As for #4- The commenting. I REALLY hate when I leave a comment on someone else's blog, especially when I ask them a question, and they don't respond back. It's just a pet peeve- There was one example of a blog that I followed, and I loved it- I repeatedly would asks her a question regarding something she had posted, but she never answered. I know, because I kept checking back.

    I mean- really..it's whatever, but I always try to answer the comments/questions my followers have for me. Wether it be in the next blog post or, better yet, if they have an e-mail linked to their account! Lots of people don't want to have their e-mail linked to their blogger account for one reason or another, BUT if you do, and then you comment on my (or anyone's) blog, and I get alerts/emails on my phone I can reply right back to you via your email. Does this make sense? it didn't to me at first, but once I figured it out, it made things much easier! I'm going to re-post this actually.

  18. Okay sorry to follow up a string of intense comments with something totally irrelevant, but I love the last photo. I totally can relate with the urge to make funny faces/stick my finger up my nose every other photo. You look like quite the fantastic dancer!

    To jump in on the blogging etiquette discussion, I figure that if you have nothing nice to say, why say it at all? It's okay to disagree with someone's opinion, but I'm always disappointed when negative comments are made about someone's style/outfits. I mean, honestly, if you saw a person with questionable fashion sense walking down the street, are you going to stop them and point out that their shoes are ugly? I doubt it.


  19. I love that neutral skirt with the pop of red, super cute outfit today!

    And I agree with all you've said. I hate rude comments that are intentionally meant to hurt the blogger. I love visiting other peoples blogs because that is a place I get a lot of inspiration from. And I do try to comment back to those that leave me a comment but I agree that you can't do it every. single. time.

  20. I love that necklace with that top! Perfect combo!

  21. I completely agree with number 4, if they took the time to come visit and even leave a comment, its a matter of respect to return the deed.

    Lucky, I never had to ask for anyone to follow me, I think that's something the reader will decide on their own if they like you, or the blog, or not.


  22. Wow, I love reading all your comments - I'm glad I'm not the only who has thought about blog protocal, especially because there really isn't any! We're all learning from each other here every day. And THANK YOU ALL for taking the time to comment here. ;o)

    I think we all respond to comments in our own ways and none of them are bad. I love blog banter, but honestly no one has the time to be able to respond to every single comment every time. However, I think we all like the little mental notes of recognition, whether it's by leaving a comment or responding to one every now and again, or sending personal e-mails to questions or visiting each other's blogs. I think that all helps us to build a little community here.

    I can only speak from my experience in the style blogging area, but I've found the vast majority of folks really nice and really eager to share with each other. I love that I've had the opp to "meet" a whole group of really cool people who share similar interests and we can "chat" about fun stuff like shoes and skirts and I leave the drama of "real life" aside for a bit.

    (oh geeze, I've babbled quite a bit, haven't I? Maybe I should leave myself with a #5 rule - don't babble on incessantly and take up too much of other people's time, Lisa!)

  23. Loves zee skirt!

    I wish there were a book for blog etiquette! I'd feel so much less like a dork then. I don't feel like blogger makes it easy to respond to people's comments. I try to respond when someone asks a question, but a lot of times I just acknowledge people's kindness in my next post. Maybe this is uncooth (teehee, love that word), but I always wonder if people check back anyways. I guess I wish there was a way to have a more open dialog without commenting and rechecking comments.

    As for the respect issue- that's my biggest fear blogging. I really hope no one ever sucks the fun out of blogging for me by being nasty. I get that people can disagree, but I'm blown away by what other bloggers have had to deal with in terms of nastiness. I'm of the "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything" school, something I practice in real life and on blogger.

    A few other commenters mentioned the asking for followers. Not a fan of that. I just figure I would rather have genuine people who follow bc they might like what I put out there, not follow bc I had a ask. And if that means less followers, so be it.

    And citing sources is always a must. Not too much to add to that :)

    Great discussion!! And PS- thank you for your sweet comments the other day. Truly appreciated.

  24. cute outfit!

    as far as lifting/ stealing/ plagirising/ reposting without credit: having a disclaimer ("please ask author for permission..." etc.) visible on your site is helpful, though i am sure there are many who do not heed that polite warning. how can they not know it's wrong? ugh. as a writer, this bothers me, and for a few years, kept me from publishing my work on the internet (i bought a domain name and did nothing with it for over a year b/c i was afraid someone would steal my work! for the most part, my essays and other creative works still remain offline. maybe i am just paranoid).

    if someone leaves me a comment but i can't come up with anything better than a "thanks :)" then i try to leave a comment on one of their blog posts... i figure it all evens out. :)

  25. Great post. first off, I love the tee in that color. I may consider going back for it!! i love it with that light grey skirt.

    secondly, great key points on etiquette. well said (err...typed!).

  26. I have never understood why some people find it necessary to say mean/rude/nasty comments to other people they really know nothing about. I was the recipient of some really horrible remarks on my blog last year and considered removing the anon posting feature. However, I decided against it in the end because I know some of my readers don't want to post a name, and I didn't want to alienate them. I haven't really had any major issues since that one time and for that I am very thankful. :)

    I often find it hard to believe that some people in the world are so mean and have nothing better to do than to visit blogs and leave rude comments, but apparently there are. I sort of feel sorry for them...doesn't seem like much of a life, ya know?

    As for commenting, I appreciate it when a fellow blogger takes the time to respond to my comment, and I try my best to do the same on my blog. I really appreciate every single comment I get and know that person has taken time out of their day to acknowledge what I've posted. Granted, sometimes it takes me a day or two but I do try my best to comment back.

    On a much happier note...I love your outfit! :)

  27. You are looking so so fab today! I love the red Curated Tee plus the red Double Torsade necklace! Very fresh with the gray skirt! :)

  28. Great advice.....so true:)
    And your skirt is adorable on you!!

  29. Thanks so much for this thoughtful (and thought-provoking) post. I definitely agree with all your points. I think it's important for bloggers to try to respond to those who leave comments, to show that those comments are read and appreciated. I've been a little slow to respond to mine this week because work has been crazy, but I do really try to respond, even if it's a day later :)

    AND, I really love the bright tomato red with the light gray. Dray can be drab, but not so in this case! And the BR skirt is such a perfect length for you.

  30. Thanks, LT, I'm on the same page as you. Wouldn't life be easier with an official rule book sometimes? I still question myself when blogging - and I have a dry sense of humor, so sometimes I worry if it comes across when typed, yet I always feel dorky when I have to follow something up with a "haha" or whatnot.

    Tastymoog - No. 1 wow I'm impressed on you being a writer, because through HS and college, that is what I really wanted to do with my life. I guess I wasn't good enough (or brave enough) to make a go at it. No. 2 I definitely don't think there are hard rules about responding, but I must admit it urks me a bit when folks don't show the least bit of response - it takes away a bit from the community of blogging I enjoy.

    Pamela - I totally caved on this tee after seeing it a few times on Sarah. And I sized down on it bc the striped one I got in my reg size was a bit big, and I think it looks so much better fitted.

    I'm with you, FFM. I know people aren't always going to agree with me or like what I'm wearing, and that's fine to me. That's fine if they tell me too, but there's a difference between being respectful and constructive and just being rude for no reason.

    Thanks, Mandy. It was a happy matchy-match accident.

    Thanks, Collette.

    Thanks, Jamie. Who has the time to respond to every thing every time? But I definitely agree that that some sort of recognition and feedback in one form or another is nice!

  31. You are making me want to bust out my coral double torsade necklace - it looks so pretty with your outfit - you look great in red, Lisa!

    I think you are super friendly, kind, quick to respond and of course well dressed. And I'll break the pinkies of anyone who tries to say otherwise ;)

  32. First off, you look gorgeous! I think this is one of my fav looks overall. And the poses are fab ;)

    Secondly, blogging etiquette...
    I totally agree with your points! I guess my biggies are:
    - Mind your manners at all times (that includes blogger posts and reader comments).
    - Respond to reader comments and visit the blogs of your followers too. Just because someone may not comment, does not mean they are not reading. Give each other the time of day :)
    ... HOWEVER... I feel annoyed when I leave a comment on someones blog, and then they respond saying something like, "Saw you visited xoxblog, come back and follow!" WITHOUT so much as reading or acknowledging my post. Does that make sense?
    - I welcome invites to giveaways. I mention those myself, not only because I want people to participate, but also because I want to give back to my blog friends. :) ... HOWEVER.. I am also annoyed when someone comments on a post saying "Come enter my giveaway at xoxblog" WITHOUT reading or acknowledging my post.
    - People who feel enabled to spam on comments suck!! There is nothing worse than seeing a comment that pushes a product or another site, i.e. "Come advertise here", "clearance sale" etc. I immediately *delete* those!
    - Posers!! Has anyone else had this happen to them? People can contact me through my blog, I respond to all my readers emails... HOWEVER... At one point it came to my attention that email domains were created using my identity (that is, my user name exactly as people see it when I respond to their emails)!! But of course with different accounts attached. So now I immediately 'Junk' emails from people who claim to be readers if I am not familiar with them or they have not included a profile or blog link.

    Those are my tips, hope that last one helps people out!

  33. Aw, Jan, you can be my body guard anytime! And does this mean I can visit your awesome closet then? ;o)

    Thanks, OneCraftyFox. Holy cow, posers are a new thing for me. Why would anyone take the time to do that?! That's creepy!

  34. :) I love your crazy poses Lisa. And also you may have pushed me over the edge on the Curated Tee in red...I give in! It looks so fabulous on you and everyone else, I might as well order it too, no? :)

    Blog etiquette is a tricky business. If I have oodles of free time (rare), I will respond to everyone's comments. If I have limited free time, I'll try to respond to the people who asked questions or say something that strikes something in me and I can have a little conversation back about. I'll usually add any new names to my blog reader so I can visit their blog back at some point and reciprocate. Sometimes I may have to delay responding by a day or two though. Half of August though, I had NO free time and while I pushed myself to respond to comments every so often, I wasn't visiting people's blogs (even until last week my RSS reader was backlogged about 3 weeks, as opposed to my normal 3 day queue) and I felt super guilty for not reciprocating. At one point, I tried to admonish myself -- why am I stressing out over not being able to read and virtually comment on fashion blogs, of all things? -- but I think that because blogging is a community, you feel as bad about it as real-world snubs or faux pas.

  35. hahah. . i love your crazy poses! half my shots have me in stupid positions and sticking my tongue out but i think that's what makes it all fun.

    having a fashion blog for the past 3-odd weeks makes me realise it is indeed a community-- the respect and support are good; i try to answer comments or drop by back, but sometimes time is of the essence. still, i am loving the experience.

  36. Hmm, I personally love disagreeable comments - just not on my blog :)
    Seriously though, when done correctly, dissent adds interest, who wants to hear "I agree, me too, your right" all the time?

    Unfortunately, you are correct in your statement that many people just don't know how to disagree properly (i recently excused myself from a dinner gathering to la toilet when the conversation turned to the mosque project near ground zero debate). Some things just need not be debated in public.. at dinner... with family. period.

    I find myself wanting to comment in general much more than I do - at the very least I try to respond to everyone on my blog when they comment even if I can't comment on all the blogs I read.. my google reader is about to explode and then it become just one more thing on the "to-do" list.
    I also enjoy reading comments on other peoples blogs and have found a lot of my favorite reads that way- I think that's how I found you, your funny comments are all over the blogsphere- who want's to be know for being a crabby blogger/commenter?

  37. Ack! I'm just now catching up on posts and didn't see this until now!

    This is a great topic. I'm going to bookmark it so that I can read through everyone's comments later.

    My personal rule is BE NICE. Even if you don't agree. Say something nice!!!


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